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Bah.

Someone wake me up when Christmas is over. Thanks.

New Me

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This is start of the Bridget-version of Kai, anything before this is all Jani. Starting new, yes? Yes. Alright, let the good times spin.
Why is it that the only people who are updating tons are the psycho and his bitch?

Sorry, I'm in shock right now, and that was jsut the first thing that came into my head. It's the whole Rei-in-the-hospital scenario all over again, but it's worse, because Bryan actually did it to himself, and I feel like such an idiot because I was out training with Wyatt when I should've been at home...

Dammit. Did I kill someone in a past life? Forget that I tried to in this life for a second. Why is all this stuff happening to us? Why is all the trauma coming to affect us in particular? Are we being punished for something? If so, wasn't the Abbey enough? Why can't we live normal for a while? Well, scratch that last bit, but why can't we at least be safe? Why is it that every morning, I wake up wondering...who's going to die today? It's almost like it's the Abbey all over again, when every day at least three boys left our group and we never saw them again. Except they aren't dying this time, but every close call makes me more and more scared that next time, they will. And I can't help but wonder who it will be.

*sigh* By the end of the month, I swear I'll be so sick of hospitals, just passing one will be enough to mke me puke...but I need to see Bryan. I hope he's woken up by the time I get there. And I hope Rei and Tala don't kill me for turning my cell phone off.

My Anthem

The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly...
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonight

From up here these city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

Our dying day
Of our dying...


I can't do this. I never could. Rei, I love you so much. I thought you loved me too. How could you fall for Brooklyn's lies so easily?

Goodbye...

So far, in need of improvement.

Well, several things havve happened. For example, me and Rei are now playing matchmaker for A), a wolf who needs to get screwed more often, and B) a falcon who needs to get a much better taste of something he has a very bad impression of. So far, we've had to halt efforts on Tala, primarily because we need to wait for Bryan's friend to go away before we can do anything. I think you know who I'm talking about, Bryan. Anyways, We didn't realize this until after Rei's fight with Tala, so yeah, Rei was kinda ticked. Buuuuut, we managed to make amends, and had a pretty decent hour or so, before Tala had to come home, dammit. Ah well; I don't think he would've liked what he nearly walked in on, so Rei had to get dressed fast and run. We really need to get a house just for us. It'd be a lot better than him trying to sneak into my houseful of homicidal idiots or me trying to sneak into his houseful of crazy annoying brotehrs and sisters. <.<;;; Only thing I'm worried about is this whole marking thing that his village does. I can tell it means quite a bit to Rei, and the idea of it is a very good one; I can see why it's lasted as such a long-standing tradition. Buuuut...I don't have fangs. How the heck am I supposed to mark him? Right now, I'm just scared I'm gonna screw up and end up hurting him. I really wish I could stop thinking so much about that kind of stuff...
I talked with Tala, and in my opinion, it went pretty well. Granted, I feel stupid for the way I acted in the end, but still, he decided to stay. And I'm nearly done with the cigarettes; a few more days and I'll be totally free. I'm amazed at how easy it was to quit this time. I don't know what's different this time. Maybe it was because I told Tala what was wrong. I don't know. But I can't help feeling...grateful.

These things never end.....

I'm so tired of this. There's always something going wrong with us, always something pulling us away from each other. I'm starting to think that the Blitzkrieg Boys just were never meant to be a team.

Frankly, I don't want Tala to go. He's the only one who knows about the phone calls, and even though I don't want to tell anyone else about it, I need someone who can understand, even fractionally, what's going on. *sigh* Besides, if he goes, there's no one on the planet who can stop Bryan from torching the BBA headquarters.

I guess this is a good note, but in just five days, the five days since Tala caught me, I've reduced my smoking from nearly a pack and a half to just five ciggarettes. I've been through this process so many times that I can bring my intake down almost instantly, as long as I'm not overly stressed. I guess that's why I don't want to talk to Tala, even to try and convince him to stay. Maybe I'm hoping for some kind of miracle...but I learned a long time ago miracles don't exist. I don't know how to convince Tala to stay; not even Dranzer can help me talk to him. I only wish I knew...
I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Those goddamn phone calls...and I've gone too long without...my stuff. But Tala's been keeping an annoyingly close eye on me; I don't know when I'll be able to get another breath...
Okay, I got this from Rei's journal, these are my results from the same quiz.

Your Erotic LJ dream by cozzette
username
you went to bed feeling
You began to dream aboutkingof_darkness
who wascauseing you pain (the good kind)
inat thier office/workplace
withwhipped cream everywhere
which made youstiff/wet
but was interupted bysexy_driger
who began totake pictures
You awokewith wet sheets
and you hopethat dreams do come true
chance of that happening:: 93%
Quiz created with MemeGen!


Someone please tell me this is a joke. I swear I'm gonna have nightmares for months after this, God...
From now on...*drumroll*

Kai's all yours.

*kicks him in the butt to get him to move*

*gets a growl*

Yeah so...I'm gonna go kidnap Tala and 'Lima, cos they're my loves XD.

Peace, out!

(P.S. Anna I gave you the password right?)